A woman is hosting the show I am in and I’m squirming.
I like her. She’s a nice girl, young, funny, super-hot, but desperate, even on stage, for attention, and hitting on all the men in the audience. She’s talking about her vagina and inviting one of the male comics to be a guest there. I want to give her a hug and remind her to love and respect herself…but I am trying to accept that I am of a different generation of comedy.
I love the humor of Sarah Silverman. I am all for taking back female sexuality, but, just because talking openly about sex can be hysterically funny in the hands of pros, it doesn’t mean that the reason it’s funny is because you are talking about sex. I don’t want to sound Puritanical, I love smart, sexy, female humor, but come on, ladies. When we tell jokes about how we’ve “had consensual sex… once” (a young lady I saw at a bar show a few months ago) we’re not taking back anything, in fact, we’re giving it all away.
I once interviewed Christopher Titus and, while we were talking, he described laughter as “implied agreement.” The comment stuck with me. As a comedian, you have a platform (even at an open mic) and, if you want people to listen to you, you should probably have something to say.
I understand that, as we get started, many of us are still figuring out what we want to say. Unfortunately, when your jokes imply that, “men taking advantage of me is funny,” or “I am just an object here for your sexual pleasure” you are telling your audience that you think it is okay (funny, even) for men to objectify women.
Extreme?
Maybe, but you don’t hear anybody talking about Jerry Seinfeld’s famous joke about raping women (there isn’t one). And, before you throw Wanda Sykes at me, or Louis CK, or even Sarah Silverman’s joke about getting raped by the doctor, go back and listen to those jokes. They make fun of the rapists and the culture that promotes rape, which is a TOTALLY DIFFERENT THING.
I’m not saying that jokes can never touch on rape or the objectification of women, quite the opposite. Much of the best comedy is about shining the light on things that are morally wrong to get that implied agreement that moves us forward as a culture. I’m just suggesting that we all think about what we are promoting in our acts. If you plan on doing this forever, at some point people are going to look at what you say as a reflection of who you are…just ask Trevor Noah.
But let me climb off my soapbox and go back to the story of my night.
This may sound contradictory to my previous rant, but, regardless of the jokes anyone is telling, I do believe in their right to tell them. I believe in free speech, I just think it’s important to remember that free speech extends to everyone and includes the people who disagree with you. Feel free to blow up the comments below and tell me I’m crazy or a hypocrite. I’ll defend your right to do it. ;-)
A young woman making herself into a sexual object and aspiring to be used by men in her act is her right. The problem is when she is the host of a show and introduces me by saying, “this next comedian has a great rack, probably a C cup, maybe D.”
What the F#$k?!?
Make yourself a sexual object, sure, that only reflects on you, but don’t make me one without my consent (that all-important C-word). My “rack” shouldn’t even be addressed in my introduction. And, I’ve worked my ass off to get people to listen to what I have to say, not as a woman, or “someone I might fuck,” but as a human with a brain and a point of view. In seven words, she destroyed that. And she’s a woman, how does she not know?!?
Looking back on the moment, I wish I had addressed it onstage as the opening to my act, but, stunned, I plugged through my set. I watched the next few comics and then raced up to support a friend in a Caroline’s bringer. On the subway, the intro was still swimming in my head. Is this where comedy is going? I’m not one to change my style to follow a trend, but I do acknowledge that I have to fit into the NYC scene. I need stage time and opportunity and, to get those two things, the people booking shows, frequently other comedians, need to think I’m funny.
I tried to put it out of my head.
The show at Caroline’s was mostly up-and-comers, but the guest-pro was Maureen Langan. I met her years ago when she was at a comedy festival in Aspen and she’s amazing. With gratitude I watched her take the stage with confidence and kill with brilliant jokes on her humanity, not just relying on her sexuality. My hope came back, but it was short-lived.
A very attractive, young woman came to the stage. Am I part of the problem for referring to them as very attractive? I hope not. I don’t want to live in a world where we can’t call people attractive. I think everyone should feel very attractive and that attractiveness is more about what you are than what you look like…and then her opening joke made a parallel between her feelings about anal sex and Cadbury crème eggs.
Mic drop. Hands thrown into the air. For realz?!?
I think I’m the problem. It’s clearly a trend that is going through the comedy scene and I love that young women feel free to share their voices with the collective. I can go blue (sexually graphic/wraunchy – for those of you not in the comedy world) when the situation demands, and I like being sexual, but in my own way and on my own terms, and that goes for whether I am behind a mic or not.
I want these women to feel free to talk about anything they like, but I know, for me, that when the late night shows come calling, I’m going to need more up my sleeve than a great rack. I’m trying to respect what they are doing, and I hope that in the future they will respect that it is something I am not doing.
So, if you ever find yourself introducing me, or any other woman at a comedy show, please ask her permission before you make her intro about any of her body parts. Better yet, if you can’t remember her credits or come up with something creative, just introduce her as “very funny,” that’s why they paid the cover and bought the drinks.
Oh, and before I sound completely ungrateful, “thanks for the compliment on my rack, young, female MC. Totally appreciated, this was just the wrong venue.”
I like her. She’s a nice girl, young, funny, super-hot, but desperate, even on stage, for attention, and hitting on all the men in the audience. She’s talking about her vagina and inviting one of the male comics to be a guest there. I want to give her a hug and remind her to love and respect herself…but I am trying to accept that I am of a different generation of comedy.
I love the humor of Sarah Silverman. I am all for taking back female sexuality, but, just because talking openly about sex can be hysterically funny in the hands of pros, it doesn’t mean that the reason it’s funny is because you are talking about sex. I don’t want to sound Puritanical, I love smart, sexy, female humor, but come on, ladies. When we tell jokes about how we’ve “had consensual sex… once” (a young lady I saw at a bar show a few months ago) we’re not taking back anything, in fact, we’re giving it all away.
I once interviewed Christopher Titus and, while we were talking, he described laughter as “implied agreement.” The comment stuck with me. As a comedian, you have a platform (even at an open mic) and, if you want people to listen to you, you should probably have something to say.
I understand that, as we get started, many of us are still figuring out what we want to say. Unfortunately, when your jokes imply that, “men taking advantage of me is funny,” or “I am just an object here for your sexual pleasure” you are telling your audience that you think it is okay (funny, even) for men to objectify women.
Extreme?
Maybe, but you don’t hear anybody talking about Jerry Seinfeld’s famous joke about raping women (there isn’t one). And, before you throw Wanda Sykes at me, or Louis CK, or even Sarah Silverman’s joke about getting raped by the doctor, go back and listen to those jokes. They make fun of the rapists and the culture that promotes rape, which is a TOTALLY DIFFERENT THING.
I’m not saying that jokes can never touch on rape or the objectification of women, quite the opposite. Much of the best comedy is about shining the light on things that are morally wrong to get that implied agreement that moves us forward as a culture. I’m just suggesting that we all think about what we are promoting in our acts. If you plan on doing this forever, at some point people are going to look at what you say as a reflection of who you are…just ask Trevor Noah.
But let me climb off my soapbox and go back to the story of my night.
This may sound contradictory to my previous rant, but, regardless of the jokes anyone is telling, I do believe in their right to tell them. I believe in free speech, I just think it’s important to remember that free speech extends to everyone and includes the people who disagree with you. Feel free to blow up the comments below and tell me I’m crazy or a hypocrite. I’ll defend your right to do it. ;-)
A young woman making herself into a sexual object and aspiring to be used by men in her act is her right. The problem is when she is the host of a show and introduces me by saying, “this next comedian has a great rack, probably a C cup, maybe D.”
What the F#$k?!?
Make yourself a sexual object, sure, that only reflects on you, but don’t make me one without my consent (that all-important C-word). My “rack” shouldn’t even be addressed in my introduction. And, I’ve worked my ass off to get people to listen to what I have to say, not as a woman, or “someone I might fuck,” but as a human with a brain and a point of view. In seven words, she destroyed that. And she’s a woman, how does she not know?!?
Looking back on the moment, I wish I had addressed it onstage as the opening to my act, but, stunned, I plugged through my set. I watched the next few comics and then raced up to support a friend in a Caroline’s bringer. On the subway, the intro was still swimming in my head. Is this where comedy is going? I’m not one to change my style to follow a trend, but I do acknowledge that I have to fit into the NYC scene. I need stage time and opportunity and, to get those two things, the people booking shows, frequently other comedians, need to think I’m funny.
I tried to put it out of my head.
The show at Caroline’s was mostly up-and-comers, but the guest-pro was Maureen Langan. I met her years ago when she was at a comedy festival in Aspen and she’s amazing. With gratitude I watched her take the stage with confidence and kill with brilliant jokes on her humanity, not just relying on her sexuality. My hope came back, but it was short-lived.
A very attractive, young woman came to the stage. Am I part of the problem for referring to them as very attractive? I hope not. I don’t want to live in a world where we can’t call people attractive. I think everyone should feel very attractive and that attractiveness is more about what you are than what you look like…and then her opening joke made a parallel between her feelings about anal sex and Cadbury crème eggs.
Mic drop. Hands thrown into the air. For realz?!?
I think I’m the problem. It’s clearly a trend that is going through the comedy scene and I love that young women feel free to share their voices with the collective. I can go blue (sexually graphic/wraunchy – for those of you not in the comedy world) when the situation demands, and I like being sexual, but in my own way and on my own terms, and that goes for whether I am behind a mic or not.
I want these women to feel free to talk about anything they like, but I know, for me, that when the late night shows come calling, I’m going to need more up my sleeve than a great rack. I’m trying to respect what they are doing, and I hope that in the future they will respect that it is something I am not doing.
So, if you ever find yourself introducing me, or any other woman at a comedy show, please ask her permission before you make her intro about any of her body parts. Better yet, if you can’t remember her credits or come up with something creative, just introduce her as “very funny,” that’s why they paid the cover and bought the drinks.
Oh, and before I sound completely ungrateful, “thanks for the compliment on my rack, young, female MC. Totally appreciated, this was just the wrong venue.”